So you might have seen the reasons why you might wear your newborn, but what about after?One day I sat down with some other mothers and we got talking about all the things we loved about babywearing. We all had different experiences but something we did all agree upon was that doing it beyond the newborn period was so helpful and for so many reasons. It got me wondering bout how many other parents are missing out on this parenting tool? So here are some of the (many) reasons to babywear beyond babyhood. Maybe you already have experience, did your favorite reason feature? It's never to late to choose new ways to connect with your child, |
Breastfeeding support definitely needs more time, but babywearing? Most people, before they try it, might even think that it's possible within a sling library drop in. As someone who has been there, as a mum and as the person running the library, I suggest that it is not. In 2015, I was setting up a sling library in my local town & I was filled with joy, the anticipation and the comfort of security doing through the National Childbirth Turst (NCT). I was so exhilarated, finding my calling I thought, honing my skills and helping mothers. The library grew quickly, and the reality of running a sling library started to set in. |
I found that the busier the sling library got, the harder it was to run in isolation, both as an unpaid volunteer and as a new mother myself. Wonderful women came forward, they helped how they could, but still I was less and less able to fulfil my own standards of really meeting mothers where they were at and having them leave the hall lighter and with a new skill to practice.
At this time, I was settling into my motherhood my self. Whilst setting up this busy library, I was also learning how to parent responsively, navigating my own remaining breastfeeding problems and all for free. Something had to give, so I handed on the sling library to its current custodians. It continues to grow today but I know that I will not revisit it as a way of supporting families. The personal cost to me is too great whilst my little people are just that.
I was once a mother standing in a sling library, confused about why I wasn’t given more attention. So I wonder how we can better explain to families the personal costs entailed in running a drop in, free to attend, sling library service. The hours racked up with support online, the missed pickup/drop offs, the £100’s of pounds spent on slings, insurance and training with no expectation of ever being earnt back through hires of slings.
It is sad to think, the only reason most babywearing consultants set up a library in the first place, was to share own wisdom and help parents within their own journeys. The realities of running it, can be heart breaking however.
At this time, I was settling into my motherhood my self. Whilst setting up this busy library, I was also learning how to parent responsively, navigating my own remaining breastfeeding problems and all for free. Something had to give, so I handed on the sling library to its current custodians. It continues to grow today but I know that I will not revisit it as a way of supporting families. The personal cost to me is too great whilst my little people are just that.
I was once a mother standing in a sling library, confused about why I wasn’t given more attention. So I wonder how we can better explain to families the personal costs entailed in running a drop in, free to attend, sling library service. The hours racked up with support online, the missed pickup/drop offs, the £100’s of pounds spent on slings, insurance and training with no expectation of ever being earnt back through hires of slings.
It is sad to think, the only reason most babywearing consultants set up a library in the first place, was to share own wisdom and help parents within their own journeys. The realities of running it, can be heart breaking however.
A better way..
Four years on from setting up my own sling library, I have settled into my motherhood and I am now confident within my skill set to know that what I have to give, is worth every penny of a fee. My skills have been hard earned, my family will tell you at times how frustrating it can be to wait whilst I gave my time and skills to others for free.
Now I offer my services in a way that meets my need to do the best I can, but also yours, to get the best help you can. If you can afford me, why not also pay a bit extra (pay it forward), so that the person who cannot, can still get the same help from me.
SO, if you want to meet someone who will listen to you, learn all about your families needs and help you find a way to move forward with more resilience and new skills than before, then book a consultation with someone trained in babywearing. That 1-2 hours might be the best money you have spend on your family.
You will not regret it.
Now I offer my services in a way that meets my need to do the best I can, but also yours, to get the best help you can. If you can afford me, why not also pay a bit extra (pay it forward), so that the person who cannot, can still get the same help from me.
SO, if you want to meet someone who will listen to you, learn all about your families needs and help you find a way to move forward with more resilience and new skills than before, then book a consultation with someone trained in babywearing. That 1-2 hours might be the best money you have spend on your family.
You will not regret it.
How did I get here? I trained for four years, in busy London Childrens hospitals as Paediatric nurse, qualifying in 2011. After becoming a mother, I discovered a new thirst for knowledge in supporting mothers with babywearing and breastfeeding. So in 2016 I started a sling library in High Wycombe, undertook peer support training with the School of Babywearing. At the same time, I also began training to be a breastfeeding counselor (BFc) with a national breastfeeding organisation. I became a babywearing consultant in 2016 with Slingababy, and completed my breastfeeding counselor training also this year. Running two very busy voluntary groups, working part time AND being a mum, was too much for me and my family, so I handed over the sling library to its current custodian & it is still thriving In 2018, after a few years nurturing my growing family and supporting mothers in the voluntary sector as a BFc, I made the commitment to undertake a year long breastfeeding specialist course (self funded!), with the aim of becoming an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant. With the encouragement of family and friends, I am now taking the leap and offering my breastfeeding and babywearing support again, but this time for a fee to cover my cost and time. I have spent years and a fair amount of money volunteering, and now it is time to offer my skills to you all, but in a way that means we can still pay our bills. |
What am I up to now?
I am mumming.
I am working v. part time as a Paediatric nurse.
I am doing small babywearing workshops with in The Village Midwives Postnatal course.
I am podcasting about breastfeeding.
I am studying, the exam is Oct 2019!
I am still an BFc active volunteer also.
If you feel I am a good fit to support you, I look forward to hearing from you soon :)
I am mumming.
I am working v. part time as a Paediatric nurse.
I am doing small babywearing workshops with in The Village Midwives Postnatal course.
I am podcasting about breastfeeding.
I am studying, the exam is Oct 2019!
I am still an BFc active volunteer also.
If you feel I am a good fit to support you, I look forward to hearing from you soon :)
None of us are perfect, we live busy lives, often juggling many mental processes at once. We try our best to listen to those we are supporting but sometimes we may fall short.
Honing in on listening skills can really help us offer more effective support. The photos bellow are adapted from a list by the Bloemfontein Samaritans. I discovered them as part of my breastfeeding specialist training and adapted them to share with you all :)
This series of images is about listening skills and what it looks like when you are listening and when you are not.
I believe they are applicable to all situations, in all interactions with others, what ever your role is within that moment. I find these helpful in all my roles, from health care professional to babywearing consultant.
I hope that with awareness ( and practice) we can strive to be aware of our flaws and do better for those we interact with on a professional and personal level.
Honing in on listening skills can really help us offer more effective support. The photos bellow are adapted from a list by the Bloemfontein Samaritans. I discovered them as part of my breastfeeding specialist training and adapted them to share with you all :)
This series of images is about listening skills and what it looks like when you are listening and when you are not.
I believe they are applicable to all situations, in all interactions with others, what ever your role is within that moment. I find these helpful in all my roles, from health care professional to babywearing consultant.
I hope that with awareness ( and practice) we can strive to be aware of our flaws and do better for those we interact with on a professional and personal level.
You are not listening when… You say you understand before you know me well enough. You have an answer for my problem before I have finished telling you what it is. You sense that my problem is embarrassing and you try to avoid it. You are dying to tell me all your experiences which make mine seem unimportant. You need to feel successful You come up with all the clever answers which have little to do with me. You cut me off before I have finished speaking. You are trying to sort out all the details and are not aware of the feelings behind the words. | You are listening when... You come quietly into my world and let me be. You try to understand me when I do not make much sense. You hold back your desire to give me advice. You don't take my problem from me but trust me to deal with it my own way. You give me enough room to discover for myself why I feel upset and enough time to think for myself what is best. You allow me the dignity of making my own decisions even though you may think I am wrong. You don't tell me that funny story you are just burning to tell. You realise that how I take from you leaves you a bit tired and drained. You grasp my point of view even when it goes against your sincere convictions. You spend a short valuable time with me and make me feel it is forever. |
Optional activity | I invite you to have a look through them & reflect upon how they make you feel. Do they ring true to you? Do any remind you of a recent interaction? Is there anything you will try to apply to your our skill set? Are there any you would add? There is no need to share your thoughts, but naturally, I'd love to hear them. Post activity thoughts.. We are not aiming to be free from our flaws, only aware of them so we can notice them in the moments that matter the most. When will you next give the gift of listening? |
This blog piece forms part of my Slingababy consultancy project, we are tasked with sharing good quality information to benefit the whole baby wearing community. |
When babies enter the world, they expect to be, and need to be carried by us.
Be this in our arms or with the aid of slings and carriers, the positive effects are wide reaching for baby, parents and society as whole.
Be this in our arms or with the aid of slings and carriers, the positive effects are wide reaching for baby, parents and society as whole.
Positive effects for babyEncourages bonding Helps to regulate body systems and growth Promotes and encourages breastfeeding Reduces crying, often calming for fussy babies. Encourages social and language development Positive effects for parentsHeightens awareness and responsiveness to baby Help with perinatal mood disorders Increase Paternal confidence and family connections ’Hands free’ for tasks and getting out the house. Provide comfort and nurturing for older children |
Positive effects for societyStrong bonds are linked to more resilient children Carrying keeps families active associated higher breastfeeding rates Carried babies have less ear infections Improves perinatal mental health, good for everyone! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ |
Read more (link)⠀ |
Tessa Clark
RNc, Breastfeeding Counselor, Babywearing Consultant & Mum
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